Question of the Day:

At what time do you think "early afternoon" ends?

I vote that it ends at 2pm.

When someone says they will call you in the late morning/early afternoon, and 3:45pm roles by...I say they blew it.

8 out of 13 installed...

Ugh...I hate doing software updates for my computer! I've been doing this for two hours lol.

Merry Christmas!

The two saddest post secrets I have ever seen...

Why do you do this?

I have never been this disgusted at someone.

I am so disgusted and upset that I cant even write about it.

At least now I know you arent really my friend.

What the hell is wrong with you? You used to be a decent person and now you make me physically sick.

You used to be my best friend.
Thing about that for a while and then go try to look at yourself in the mirror.

If you can then you are so far beyond help that I dont want anything to do with you ever again.

You used to be my best friend.
What the HELL happened to you?

Half done with xmas shopping!

Surprisingly, the stores werent that hectic...I guess most people actually got their xmas shopping done ahead of time LOL...yeah....my family didnt. My mom is going to set up the xmas tree while my sister and I are going to finish up all the shopping.

Now I just have to wrap stuff...

Well, if something doesnt DRASTICALLY change in the next day or two, it looks like I may be coming home (portland) for New Years Eve.

Five fucking minutes isnt asking too much.

And if it IS asking too much then you are an unbelievable jerk who doesnt give a shit about me and I really dont know if I want anything to do with you.

And the funniest part...
You dont even give a shit enough to read this so why am I even bothering to write this...you wont read it.

Random stuff

So lets see...

The semester is over. Thank god. Once again I wanted to bust my ass and do really really well, but half way through I started getting sick and really tired all the time...so I will do ok this semester grade wise. It is really frustrating to be so freaking tired all the time that you cant do your best.

I am going to start filling out gradschool apps as soon as my grades come out. scary...

I thought that I lost Harley forever yesterday. We were having the windows replaced at our house, and long story short, I thought she got out one of the open widows (well at the time it was a big gapping hole in the house because they took the old window out but the new one wasnt in yet). We totally tore appart the ENTIRE house, emptied all the closets, looked in all the cabinets and we couldnt find her. We then proceeded to go to all the neighbors and ask them to keep an eye out for her, we walked around the ENTIRE neighborhood calling for her, I put food out at every door to the house in case she would smell the food and come back... and during all this I was sobbing horribly. I thought I lost my baby. I dont think I have ever been that sad...and if you have been around for the last two years you will know that is saying a lot lol. About five or six hours later I was lying on the couch with erich so exhausted from the crying and worrying that I was almost falling asleep, when I heard the jingle of her collar and ID tags. I honest to god thought that I was hearing things...I looked down the hallway and guess who was coming out of erich's room...Harley! I was so happy that I started crying all over again lol. It is kind of bothering me though, because I SWEAR we looked EVERYWHERE in the house, and I want to know where she was hiding in case it happens again.

I taking the GREs again on Jan. 3rd...I dont know why. I just thought I should take them more than once. But that sucks because it means I cant fly back to portland to hang out with Shannon before she goes to australia on the 4th for the entire semester. But she is probably going to go to the same grad school as me, so I suppose it isnt like I will never see her again.

It is almost new years...
Which means I guess I will be figuring out where the rest of my life will be going...or not going as I hope isnt the case. You guys know what I mean. I would like to have faith that someone will make the right decision...but it is hard sometimes to think that he knows how. I just hope that this time will be different so that he can make the right choice. The rest of our lives litterally depends on it.

I miss Harley already. I dont know if I am going to be able to sleep with out her curled up on my bed. It is going to be really weird to go to my parents house and see Dali, my first cat. It is going to be really weird to be around a cat that isnt Harley.

I may have convinced my parents to get me a Toyota Matrix when I graduate :-) *Knock on wood*

Have you ever had one of those moments when someone you really dont like has done something really embarrassing, or has gotten a really bad hair cut/dye job, or has said something really stupid in class...etc etc etc...and for a split second you just laugh your ass off either outloud or in your head, and think finally a tiny bit of karma has brought a tiny bit of justice? Yeah, I had one of those moments today. It kind of makes you feel like a bad person, but whatever. lol

I am only taking two classes next term, and doing research. Which means I dont have class on Friday...which means I can go down to the beach on the weekends and stay in my parents new house (they arent moving in until after may). It is all set up with high speed internet, cable tv, furniture, kitchen stuff...it will be nice to get away once in a while.

My goals next term is to keep my house clean, stay in shape, and get a's in my classes, and to not get sick and tired.

I dont know why I write on this. No one reads it. I dont really have anythign interesting or insightful to say when I write, and when I do have something to say I am never in the mood to write. I suppose I write here more often than I would write in a regular journal, so I suppose it is better than nothing. It also frustrates me that I dont have people comment on my blog. I suppose that it is partially because I dont comment on my friends blogs that often, but there is usually a reason for that. I actually got a livejournal account so that I could comment on one of my best friends blogs because she always has funny and interesting stuff up, but EVERY time I go to write a comment it turns out that someone I hate beyond words has already written some inane, insipid, idiotic comment, and there is no way in hell I am going to leave a comment on the same page as her, which means I dont ever get to write comments. Which really really pisses me off. I feel like this bitch (yes I said it, and I mean it, because it is true) has foudn yet another way to weasle her way into my life. It really bothers me that she is constantly talking to someone I consider one of my three best friends. Whatever.

I am driving home with my parents which is kind of funny. I get to drive their new car which is awesome! Damn, volvo stationwagons go FAST! lol



Well, I am tired.

Super tired.

But I cant sleep.

Nothing new...

One of the funniest things I have seen in a REALLY long time!

Statement of Purpose

So here it is. Dr. Randall said that he really liked it. He made a couple changes to word choice that I am totally fine with. Other than that, he said not to change anything. Which is AWESOME because it means I am FINISHED with it!!! lol. I would REALLY REALLY APPRECIATE IT if you guys would let me know what you think about it. Well, I should get back to studying/working on my take home test....ugh...

***

I would like to earn a PhD in chemistry in order to gain the knowledge and skills needed to pursue a career that would emphasize an industrial application of chemistry. While I enjoy the educational and pure research aspects of chemistry, I have always felt that the most appealing and motivating part was to see how a particular idea or topic could be put to use in a practical and productive manner. My favorite laboratory experiments were the ones in which I synthesized various compounds. However, I always felt like the experiment was slightly anticlimactic. I spent a great deal of time and effort to make a nice white powder, but at the end of the day it just got disposed of. I was disappointed to watch my hard work literally be thrown away. While I understood that the importance of these laboratory experiments was to learn a particular technique, or to reinforce a concept learned in lecture, I desperately wanted my final product to have an actual use. I decided that for my education and career to truly hold meaning for me, and to have a purpose in my eyes, the end result of my chemistry must also posses a purpose. This desire is what has led me to consider an education and a career that would focus on a type of chemistry that would have an industrial application.

My first experience with the industrial applications of chemistry took place in the summer between my sophomore and junior year in college. I attended a summer program at the University of Oregon, which was focused on polymer chemistry. It was interesting to me because it was an entirely new field for me to learn about, and also because I was able to see polymer chemistry being used at various manufacturing plants. Visiting several different companies is what prompted me to think about expanding my interest in chemistry to an interest in possible careers.

The year after I attended the summer polymer program I decided to become more involved in chemistry outside of the classroom. I was nominated president of Lewis and Clark’s ACS Student Affiliate Chapter. I used this position as a networking tool to meet several local Portland chemists, to learn about current topics in chemistry that I would not otherwise be exposed to, and to further explore where a PhD in chemistry could lead me in my professional career. I helped organize Hearts of Los Angeles Youth, a youth program for inner-city high school students from Los Angeles to visit Lewis and Clark College and learn about chemistry. I began to do volunteer tutoring in physics and chemistry, and I also became a teaching assistant. I also was chosen to be the student representative for the hiring committee to replace a chemistry professor who is retiring next year. In the second half of my junior year I decided that while the concept of working in a laboratory all day while earning my PhD seemed appealing, I was not sure if I would enjoy it in practice. I began working with a professor on the enzyme kinetics of tyrosinase in order to determine if I possessed the patience and the self discipline required for performing research. I enjoyed working on my own, researching journal articles for ideas, coming in on the weekend to run extra trials, and taking ownership of a project. I have found this to have been one of the most important steps in my development towards becoming a true chemist. I learned that it was not necessarily my interest in a particular topic that motivated me, but rather it was the actual act of doing research in which I wished to excel. I then participated in the Roger’s research program at Lewis and Clark during the summer between my junior and senior year. I worked with Dr. Barbara Balko, and investigated the enhanced reactivity of zero valence iron in the presence of smectite clays. I enjoyed the research partially because of the practical applications involving environmental remediation, but I also enjoyed it because I was able to work in my lab five days a week, eight hours a day. I looked forward to going to work, and I enjoyed taking home journal articles to read. I chose to continue my research with Dr. Balko into my senior year because I wanted to keep including research in my daily life. I made the final decision to apply to graduate school for my PhD after I realized how much I enjoy doing research on a daily basis, and how I enjoyed learning by actually performing the chemistry I was reading about in journal articles and in textbooks.

In particular, I would like to pursue materials chemistry in some way, whether it be through polymer chemistry, thin film chemistry, inorganic chemistry with a focus in materials, or perhaps an entirely different form of chemistry that I have yet to learn about. I would like to be able to apply my graduate school work towards running a large scale industrial manufacturing plant. While this has been my intended career goal for some time, I am leaving this idea flexible and open to change, because I hope that my graduate school experience will continue to introduce me to new areas of chemistry which may spark an interest in me that I have yet to discover.

Last day of class

So today was the last day of class for the semester.

And I am sitting at home working on my inorganic take home test.

Yet another day goes by in which I really wonder how my life ended up where it has. Then I wonder, why I am bothering to wonder about it, because nothing is going to change anyway.

Well, I will go back to my test now.

19 days until New Years.

Oh wait, you dont care about that anymore do you?

It is FINALLY done!!! Ok, well the rough draft is done at least lol :-P

I finished the rough draft of my grad school essay about 15 minutes ago.

I like it.

I really do.

The only problem I have with it, is that I wish it could be longer. It is already about 1/2 to 3/4 of a page longer than it should be. When I sat down to write it I thought that I wouldnt have anythign to write about. But once I started typing it was really hard to stop. I honestly could have written 10 pages. Condensing 10 pages down to 1-2 pages was unbelievably hard. I realized just how much thought I had given to my future education/career goals, and I wanted an opportunity to explain it. I also wanted to tell them about all the things I'm good at, like presenting, and my inorganic take home tests lol, and writting lab reports, and doing organizational things, etc. I felt like if I could just write more, then they would really be able to understand why I want to go to grad school, and they would totally pick me. Oh well.

I am having Dr. Randall proof read it tomorrow. Once he gives me the thumbs up on it, I am going to sit down one night and fill out ALL my applications. It is going to be sooooo scary to push the send button. I know I wont get into all or even most of the schools I am applying to (regardless of how supportive my friends are, and regardless of how well they think I will do, I honestly wont get into some of them). It is really scary to send an application, knowing you will be getting a rejection letter in the mail. It's like asking out the popular guy who talks to you and who sometimes flirts with you...you know you are going to get turned down, but you will just kick the shit out of yourself if you dont ask and you end up going to your ten year high school reunion just to find out that he had a huge crush on you the whole time but he was just too chicken to ask you out first. And yes, I am aware that sentence was super long and rambly lol. I just dont want to sit around five years from now wondering...could I have gotten into UCSB?

Anyway, I think I am going to post my essay up here once Dr. Randall ok's it. I'm kind of embarrrassed about doing that, but I would honestly like to know what you guys think before I send it out you know?

Well, I am super tired, and it is super late. Ugh. Well, keep your fingers crossed that Randall likes my essay :-/

I know it is a small picture, but it is really funny! PS. Check out my side bar! I added a little book review section :-)

You're Joking Right?

So apparently my cat is allergic to her plastic food and water dishes. I had to buy brand new, stainless steel bowls for her...and I have to get rid of her expensive, fancy, filtering, purifying, water bowl that is like a little water fountain. I got it because it was supposed to be GOOD for cats lol. Now she gets to use a simple stainless steel $5 dish. I also have to get rid of all her plastic toys. I'm also worried because I store her food in a plastic tupperware-like container. Ugh...

Just freaking do it already!

I need to write my stupid grad school essays...

Once I start I know it will only take an hour or two...

But instead, I am going to do ALL my laundry, clean my room, vaccum the living room, take my cat to the vet, possibly do a big WinCo run...

And THEN I will write my essays! :-P :-)

Hell yeah!

I got 459 points, out of 461 points on my advanced inorganic take home test!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

that is a 99.6% bitches! lol

it also happens to be the highest score in the class :-)

CRAP...

So...I am taking the GREs on Friday...it was either that, or take them in the middle of January, but my deadlines are all in the beginning of january...shit...

Guess I better start studying huh?

I have had this picture on my blog before, but the caption that someone came up with for it is really really funny!

"And I will name you George, and I will love you, and hug you, and feed you, and...and...zzzzzzz...."

This was a funny thing from cuteoverload that I thought was sooo funny...

A bunch of bears took over this playground...seriously...lol

People Visiting

So, I have been having some random visitors pop up on my blog site. I am able to see when people visit my page, where they are from, what time they visited, how many times...etc etc etc.

I LOVE it when I have random people reading my blog...it makes me feel like I'm not talking to myself lol. However, I would really appreciate it if people would LEAVE A COMMENT and let me know who they are, how they found my blog, stuff like that. Otherwise it is kind of creepy when you see the same person reading your blog several times, and you dont have a clue who they are, you know?

Anyway, I guess I am just saying that I would appreciate it if people would leave comments, otherwise I may start blocking some of the IP addresses I dont recognize that keep popping up. If you have already left me a comment, dont worry, I know which IP address is yours so I wont block it :-)

Boomtown

So I started watching "Boomtown" today with Erich.
That show is CRAZY! It has some of the BEST plot twists that I have seen in a really long time. It is about a bunch of cops in LA so it is kind of a rough show to watch, but it is amazingly well done, and the actors are wonderful. The filming is pretty cool also. It jumps from one character to another character, and so piece by piece you get to see what 'really' happened with the case they are working on. It is a really good show, so I highly recommend renting it or net flixing it.

Mars

I totally lost my voice the night before my big presentation lol.

Oh, and I found out that I am taking the GREs on the 9th, which is the same day as dana's xmas party which is lame...hopefully the GREs go really well so I'm not bummed out right before I go to the xmas party :-/