A brief pause from the shit that is my life...for..."Snakes on Crack"...and then back to the shit that is my life...

CURRENTLY LISTENING TO:
The fish tank in my living room

So last night Erich and I went to go see "Snakes On a Plane". HOLY FUCKING CRAP! It was the worst and FUNNIEST movie I have seen in a really really long time. I was laughing so hard it hurt. It was also pretty gruesome and violent surprisingly but still funny. I mean honestly, it must have been really funny if it made me laugh with all this shit going on in my life right? lol.

Anyway, its 6:30am and I cant sleep. I cant sleep because I was so tired yesteray from all the crying and shit that I fell asleep at like 10pm. I cant sleep because if I do I have nightmares. great...maybe I will just put a dvd on my laptop and zone out to that, and if I fall asleep then hopefully I will dream about ER or Angel or whatever else I decide to watch.

Do you know what the scariest part of all this is? It is that I am serious. I meant everything I said, and I will do everything I said I would do if a particular set of circumstances arise. I am not backing down on this one. I will lose my best friend because he doesnt think I am serious. It is just a matter of time before he tries something thinking he can get away with it, thinking I wont find out about another lie, thinking he can just hug me and call me pretty and I will forget how angry and upset I am. It wont work this time.

I am angry
I am upset

And I am serious this time.

So go ahead.
Walk the line, see what you can get away with, see if maybe I wont find out.
But realize this:

I dont just have one foot out the door.
I have two feet out the door and I am just waiting for you to close the door with your actions. And once you do...

You have lost me forever.

And in the end you will have to look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself whether or not she was worth loosing your best friend.

And if the answer is yes...
Then I guess we were never friends in the first place.