Maybe the world will turn upside down in the next two weeks and when I get back things will be different..things will be better...

CURRENTLY WATCHING:
ER - First Season

So I am leaving to go to Amsterdam tomorrow morning.

All I want is to come back in two weeks and see a glimmer of hope that things are moving in a particular direction. Things wont be perfect, things wont be fixed, things wont be better...but maybe, just maybe...things will be moving in the right direction so that they will get better, fixed, and at some point perfect again (well as close to perfect as anything ever is ;-) lol)

just maybe..

Fine.
I'm not angry anymore.
Because I dont care anymore.

I'm just like you.

My House Smells Yummy!

Blackberry Bliss air freshner from bath and body works in my living room, and Spiced Cider air freshner from bath and body works in my kitchen...it smells yummy!

So this is my last weekend in town before I go to Amsterdam...

and I am sitting at home by myself cleaning the house...

I love how some people get going away parties, or at least have people give a crap that they are going away for a while...and what do I get?

I get to sit at home by myself cleaning the house...fun...

I Want To Be Happy Like Them...

Fairy Tales vs. Real Life...

Most Fairy Tales:
Once upon a time...
And they lived happily ever after...

My "Fairy Tale":
Once upon a time...
The End.

Umm...can you get a restraining order against a cat?

So Erich and I were hanging out in my room last night with the door closed. Harley started SCREAMING nonstop because she wanted to be in the room with us. About 10-15 minutes later this is what we saw...


I am kind of freaked out! She kept doing it for a while...she is kind of scary sometimes :-/ lol

Yay!

The weather is finally back to normal! I actually had to sleep with my blanket last night :-) Lets just hope it stays this way!

Hell Yeah!

The house is two degrees cooler than when I got home at 4:30pm!

What a wonderful monday night...

Sitting at home by myself in the 95 degree heat cleaning the house.

great.

at least other people had a nice night with their friends.

Goals For Next Year (List Will Keep Being Updated As I Think of New Goals)

1. Get straight A's
a. Do ALL homework
b. Go to ALL* classes (*Unless legitametly sick or someother GOOD excuse)
c. Go to office house once a week for EACH teacher
d. STUDY
e. Do homework/study with Anne/Shannon/Krista/Ji etc

2. Do GREAT on GRE
a. Study at LEAST 1/2 hour a day

3. Make a list of graduate schools
a. Reasearch programs

4. Go dancing at LEAST once a week
a. Blues on Tuesday
b. Tango on Wednesday
c. Get REALLY good at Tango :-)

5. Keep house CLEAN
a. Make a schedual and STICK TO IT

6. Get enough sleep!

7. Get exercise
a. Get up early and do morning Pilates workout maybe?
b. Dancing does NOT count

8. Eat well
a. Eat something for breakfest every day
b. Bring Nalgene every where and start drinking enough water
c. Take vitamins every day
d. Make schedual of which days to eat in the Bon with friends

9. Read for fun

10. USE a planner
a. Use planner for everything, not just homework
b. Transfer information from planner to desk calender every day

11. Organize music on external hard drive

12. Purge computer of all unneeded junk

13. ???

more to be added later

New Goal

CURRENTLY WATCHING:
Toy Story 2

So starting tomorrow I am going to start taking pictures with my digital camera. I keep seeing my friends add pictures to their facebook profile and it makes me want to. Man...I guess that means I have to shower tomorrow and not look icky lol which is always a good thing I suppose lol.

IT IS TOO FUCKING HOT!

Sick...

I'm sick...
My throat hurts so bad...
And it is too fucking hot...
Great...

AHHH!!!

I AM SO FREAKING BORED!!!!

Sexy Again...

CURRENTLY WATCHING:
Vanstock - That 70's Show (2nd Season)

I warn you guys that this post is kind of boring lol

So I was bored...
So I dyed my hair.
I dyed it a natural dark-ish brown.
It turned out darker than I was expecting, but that is good because my hair usually looses its color pretty quickly, so the darker it is the first day the better.

After I rinsed it all out I blow dried it upside down (its easier to do upside down because I have so much freaking hair now). When I flipped rightside up and looked in the mirror I was surprised at what I saw...

I looked good.
I didnt feel washed out anymore with boring dull brassy light brown hair and bleached streaks with the roots growing in.
My hair is shiny and dark and sexy again.
I dont look freakishly pale (weird effect when my hair is darker I dont look as white lol. You would think the contrast would make me look more pale, but apparently not).

Yeah I know people like my hair when it is lighter...but I dont give a crap lol. Dark hair makes me feel sexy, and grownup, confident and elegant, and basicly the "me" that I like to be around.

Yeah most of my life is pretty much shit at the moment. Yeah it seems like all the things I wanted to have going for me at this point in my life have systematically gone down the drain and dont appear to be coming back. But right now I dont really care. Right now my hair looks good. Right now while I am sitting alone in my house watching That 70's Show reruns on DVD with a cute little kitty asleep next to me I feel a little bit like the girl that used to have all the things she wanted. Confidence, good grades, a wonderful boyfriend she loved, good friends, and great hair lol. Yeah I dont have any of those things any more (aside from wonderful friends) but I feel a little bit like the girl who did...happy...

It is kind of weird (and a little stupid and lame :-P lol) how a cheap $8 at home dye job can give you just the pickme up you need.

Well I am going to watch one more episode of That 70's Show and then I am going to go to sleep. And hopefully the silly cat wont wake up in the middle of the night/early morning this time...She is asleep now so keep your fingers crossed that she doesnt wake up and want to play when erich gets home tonight lol.

Beautiful...

"If You Forget Me"

I want you to know one thing.
You know how this is:
if I look at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.
If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.
-Pablo Neruda-

I'm tired and grumpy

I'm tired and grumpy because I was up really late with the crazy kitten because she wanted to play and wouldnt shut up lol. So now she is asleep under the the coffee table...but the funniest part is that she is sleeping just like erich does. On his/her back with one arm up covering one of his/her eyes and one leg crossed over the other...I wish erich was here to see it because it is really really cute... I think I may take the oportunity to take a nap when she is sleeping :-)

Too tired to care at the moment

Here is what I wrote:

"Hey Niko,
I was thinking about how interested I was in the diffraction lab I did lastsemester and I was wondering since you were writting it up if maybe I couldhelp you with that. I dont know how the procedure on getting things publishedworks, but I would be more than interested in working on it with you. I dont know if the data and pictures I collected last semester are enough for thearticle, or if you would like me to do some more trials, or if you would need ahand in doing article research or something. If it is something you are supposed to do because you were the professor than I totally understand. Let me know if maybe I can help with getting it written up and published because that would be something really neat to be involved in. And it would be cool to see my name printed on an article :-) Email me back when you get a chance.Thanks!"
-stephanie-

Here is what Niko replied with:

"Stephanie,
I've started writing it up and I can probably handle most of that, butwhen I get a rough draft together I'd be happy if you could proof read it and offer your suggestions. I think I've got all the pictures that I need at this point; these sorts of articles tend to like "typical student data"for the figures anyway, rather than some super perfect data that somebody slaved over for weeks.
Niko"

Sooo....does that mean I get my name on it? I love how Niko never really tells you straight up what the deal is :-P

Quick Little Post Because I Am Annoyed

Ok, so...last semester I did my final Pchem project on two dimentional crystal diffraction of latex beads. I was basicly using laser techniques to determine the diameter of tiny latex beads (0.99micrometer diameters).

It was a pretty hard project that I had to do all by myself. The procedure was hard to do by myself, the data analysis was kind of hard, the write up was really hard, and the presentation was really really hard. Part of my project was to take some pictures of the diffraction patters I obtained.

Well I just found out that my professor wants copies of the photos I took because he is writting up a journal article on the lab I did to publish in the Jounal of Chemical Education. So basicly, I did a shit ton of work, got some really really good results (0.101% error! Are you freaking kidding me!? That is UNHEARD OF! Other people were getting like 30% error.) and HE IS WRITTING IT UP. And am I going to get my name on it? WHO KNOWS! He hasnt said anything to me about it, and I dont know how the process works. He is kind of intimidating so I dont really want to be like "hey can I get my name put on that journal article you are writting?" but I mean he is going to be gone all year next year so it isnt like there will be any weird ackwardness if he says no.

So I want to email him and say something about it but I dont know what. I dont know if I should say something like :

"Hey Niko, I was thinking about how interested I was in the diffraction lab I did last semester and I was wondering since you were writting it up if maybe I could help you with that in my spare time? I dont know how the procedure on getting things published works, but I would be more than interested in working on it with you. I dont know if the data and pictures I collected last semester is enough for the article, or if you would like me to do some more trials, or if you would need a hand in doing article research or something. If it is something you are supposed to do because you were the professor than I totally understand. Let me know if maybe I can help with getting it written up and published because that would be something really neat to be involved in."

What do you guys think?

Update:
So I sent him an email. It basicly said the exact same thing I wrote in this blog post (with some proof reading changes). I also added a sentence at the end that said :"It would also be really cool to see my name printed on an article :-)"

I feel kind of gross. I hate feeling like I am asking for something, or begging for something. And I have a feeling he is going to say no because Niko tends to be really secretive when it comes to his publications of stuff. Which blows. But hey, best case senario I get published. Worse case senario, he says no, I get pissed and feel exploited for my work without getting credit (welcome to being a scientist :-P) and things are akward until he goes to Europe for the next year so I dont have to see him or anything.

For Erich...

I thought that you would think this was cute :-)

Cute Puppy Picture

This is kind of how I feel right now lol.

Harley Quinn's Baby Picture :-)

This is a picture of her when she was three weeks old!

Funny Cat Picture I Found...

I'm Getting a Kitten on Tuesday!!!

Her birthday is April 22, 2006!

The Saturday after I get her it will be her three month birthday!

Her New Name is Harley Quinn!!! (Like from Batman hehehe)

A new picture of her from the website :-)

Harley Quinn (on the left/bottom) and her sister Papya (on the right/top)

Killer Kangaroos and Demon Ducks of Doom!

This is SO funny! (click me!)

Look Who I Found! :-)

Her name is Pina Colada:

I wish I could have her soooo bad!!!! Although I would change her name. :-)

Sleepy Kittens! :-)

You HAVE to go to this website :-) ~ (click me!)

One of the REALLY cute things I found at that website. They add new pictures everyday which is great!

Quote of the Day From Wikipedia

"The scientific man does not aim at an immediate result.
He does not expect that his advanced ideas will be readily taken up.
His work is like that of the planter — for the future.
His duty is to lay the foundation for those who are to come,
and point the way. He lives and labors and hopes."
~ Nikola Tesla ~

Cat and Monkey...

This may very well be the cutest thing I have ever seen...
How can this picture not make you happy?

"The Kiss"

CURRENTLY WATCHING:
Season 1 Finale - Rescue Me

I found this at Found Magazine today (July 09, 2006)...

It made me happy...

They seem happy...

Colors?

So would you guys let me know what you think of the colors I have picked?

Let me know if you think one thing should be a little darker/lighter/more green/more blue/a totally different color all together/etc etc etc.

I am having some trouble with the corners of the little boxes. They are supposed to be round but at the moment they have those weird colored points on them...hmmm...I have no idea how to fix it but I am going to try and figure it out.

Template Changes...

Hey you guys..
Please be patient while I figure out all my formatting stuff. I got bored with having a template that looked like other peoples so I decided to change the colors around and get a new banner and stuff. Please let me know if you liked the old one better though because I saved all the information so I can change it back if need be. I am having a couple problems so if something looks kind of funny thats why.

Let me know what you think!
:-)

:-(

My foot hurts...

Directions:

1. Find the lyrics to a random song. (We did a funny song, a good song, and a sappy song)
2. Go to Google Translation
3. Translate the lyrics from English into German
4. Take the new German lyrics and translate them into French
5. Take the new French lyrics and translate them back into English

6. LAUGH YOUR ASS OFF!

One Headlight - The Wallflowers

So a long time ago, I do not remember when
with that it is, if they say that I do not want to say in top which the friend lost
the wells that they said that she is simple dead of a defective cardiac disorder,
while me by Kirchhofbäume heard

I the sun comin with the burial at dawn
the arm of the human law broken
a long time seemed now considering him a wasting
had you always a such pretty face
astonished always thus me to me, like she hung around this place

[choral society:]
Some He, concerned a small number
test nothing be always,
to be that of maintenance
in the medium
myself and Aschenputtel
we them have add slightly good however all
we can them lead to house
with a headlight

you have say together than it be cold
him believe like the day of independence
and I can not receive abgespalten some EC parade
but be in top around a opening
before me by this labyrinth ugliness and of a mania
have and I the sun
with border of sector bridge
of all the Sayin be some share here ahead there considering good and nothing be we run dead,
until ce qu' it be some breath you runs,
to him nothin gives on the left
struck you Ende-are is precisely its edge of window

[the choral society]

sources this place is him feels old
as an impact the truck
me precisely turns the apparatus, but the apparatus does not turn
the wells which it feels the inexpensive wine and of the cigarettes
this place is a confusion always
thinks such sometimes me that I would like to pay attention to burn me to him
am thus only and I do not feel like somebody
the man, to me modified other precisely, me knows however that I am not that even
but between the urban walls dyin of the dreams
I think some share here his death which killin I must be it

[choral society]

My Heart Will Go On - Celine Dion

Each night in me sees my dreams you.
I believe you.
It is, as I know it that you continuous.

At the distance
and the sector between us
you came far appearing, continuous.

Narrowly, far, where you are
me believe that on once again the heart
to you the door opens goes
and you are here in my heart
and my heart goes above and broad

loves can affect to us once
and during one lifespan
not to last us and goes, until we are

loves were, when I loved you
a mark right hold me
with my life go too us always

further, far, where you are
me believe that on once again the heart
to you the door opens goes
and you are here in my heart
and my heart goes above and more

still there is love which does not leave

you is here, gives him anything I feared,
and myself does not know that my heart remains above
always ensures us in this manner
you is in my heart
and my heart concerns and further

Living In An Amish Paradise - Weird Al

While I lower by those go, in which me my grain I harvest
take a sight with my wife and realizes that it is very normal
that is however for Amish as me you knows precisely perfectly,
I avoid fantastic things as electricity
at 4:30 am the morning me milkin cows
of Jebediah returns chickens and Jacob plows… The imbecile
and myself am milkin and plowin whereas be
even Ezekiel thinks a long time that my understanding went me

is a man of the country, me is in with the discipline
received a bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
however, if I finish all my choral society and you finish thine
go then this evening us to the party, such as it is 1699

us it majority our lives spending
lives in Paradies amischen
me has butter once or twice
lives durch geschüttelt in Paradies amischen
they are hard work and of the victims
lives in Paradies amischen
sell to us covers to prick at a price of tradesman
life in Paradies amischen

did a local boy take a step me in the piston last week
me precisely smiled I to him and I did not turn
not interest really me to me wishes,
indeed him 'because me will want well to say the head laughter far, if it burns in the hell but me not never a tourist not punched the other plays, even if it gained it
Amish 'tude? You know who ungehört
I am door never key, but I received a fresh hat
and my homies, I approve look at really well in blacks… Imbecile
if you do not come to visit, you with the tears perforated
to have even the telephone change in 300 years
but we to us are not repurchased show really wunderlich,
agreeably not and anstarren us is technologically prevented

just do not give him a telephone, aucunes lights, no Motorcar
a particular luxury
as of Robinson Caruso
are to him like, as to be can us to it majority our lives primitave

lives
in Paradies amischen
are to us spending normal rights and all does not have there the simple individuals lives in Paradies amischen
not of time for sin and the vice
life in Paradies amischen
to fight us, us it pleasant play
lives in one Did Paradies

Hitchin amischen Buggychurnin batches of butter
I raise a stable Monday, raises soon more anoder
with a thought which you are true righteous? Does think that you are pure in the heart?
I know well that I am a mark of million that as Thoukunst
I am grant thus am pious the individual which would like to be small Amlettes
as on my knees the day and Nachtscorin points during Afterlife
if his futile and whiny his
Oder besides, my brother, I could not owe medieval of maintenance on your heinie

us it majority our lives
lives in Paradies amischen
am to us spending all insane Mennonites
life in Paradies amischen
does not give him axes or you would probably think however the traffic lights
lives in Paradies amischen
that it bites of the
lives in Paradies amischen

This is Officiall the WORST Day of My Life EVER!

CURRENTLY LISTENING TO:
The Dam Would Break - by Toad the Wet Sprocket

So I opend a box of Kix cereal...I was SOOOOO excited...I havent had Kix in forever...and guess what...

THEY CHANGED THEM!!!!

WHAT THE HELL!?!?!

I am SOOOOO going to call and complain...
"No, in fact I am not compleatly satisfied with this product...in fact...I am PISSED OFF at this product! Who the hell decided to mess with the best cereal ever?"

Thats all.

Hehehe...

Which Batman Villain Are You?

You are: POISON IVY!
Take this quiz!

Shit...

My foot hurts again...
Today will be spent with a super fun trip to OHSU...great...